Today's Working Out to Be A Good Day

A few good things have come my way today:

1. I got a wall in my cubicle at work right in front of my computer. Although it suddenly seems like I'm sitting in a shadow, I'm hidden from the semi-annoying girl who sits next to me who talks non-stop.

2. My cousin Sarah was discharged from the hospital yesterday after showing a lot of improvement. Thanks to those who sent good thoughts her way.

3. My new snowshoes are arriving today!

4. I'm wearing skinnier jeans and feel surpisingly skinnier in them.

5. It's supposed to snow 14" today which means that I am going to use my new electric snow shovel and automatically look like a rock star while using it.

6. I stumbled upon my chocolate reserve that I've been holding on to for when I really need it. There's something very self-empowering about having chocolate at your desk and knowing you don't have to eat it right this second. In fact, it's been at my desk for weeks!

2009 Year In Review

I could have been proactive and sent out Christmas cards. This is the first year that a) the thought occurred to me, although it was after I noticed everybody had already sent them out; and b) I thought it sounded fun.

So here's my 2009 Year In Review:

January: Bought a new car (an '07 Honda Accord, gray-blue) after spectacularly rolling my car in a snowbank in that hell hole called Ontario, Oregon. I also soon learned that everyone else in Utah bought a gray-blue '07 Honda Accord as well.

February: Experienced a relatively quiet and uneventful month. I was on the FHE committee where we hosted Snuggle Fest 2009 which was basically nachos and a movie in the cultural hall where couches, love sacs, sleeping bags, and camping chairs were brought in. We got some serious stares from people when we announced it at church. I thought the idea (and title) were clever and catchy. If I hadn't been on the committee, I would have surely come out of deep admiration for the deep thinkers who thought that idea up.

March: Another uneventful month. I traveled to St. George for a work conference and started to discover how much I love my job.

April: Bought a ticket to England! Also experienced indoor sky diving and went to the Hare Krishna temple in Spanish Fork for the Festival of Colors. I am curious if I sustained any lung damage after inhaling so much colored corn starch.

May: Went white-water river rafting where I was told the waves were going to be epic. Turns out that rafting on a super big, inflatable raft is pretty much like all of the other times I've done it: slow and easy and not exciting at all.

June: A busy, tiring, and exciting month. I spent more time in my car driving from state to state rather than standing on solid ground. I traveled up to Washington for my youngest sister's high school graduation where we got caught in a rain storm just as the graduation was about to begin and ultimately turned my semi-straight hair into a ball of frizz.

That same day we received word that my grandpa had passed away which, although was expected, was terrible to experience over the phone and not to have been able to be there to formally and lovingly say good bye. Two days after arriving back in Utah from Washington, Kaylin and I packed the car and headed up to Oregon, which incidentally is one of the worst drives one can do. The speed limit is 55 mph and if you step a toe out of line the cops will somehow know it, find you, and exact unmerciful treatment on you like you're some kind of terrorist. It was fun, however, to spend time as a family and reflect about the amazing life my grandpa led. He truly was a man among men and I could only be so lucky to find someone like him.

One day after arriving back in Utah from Oregon I embarked on the mother of all trips: England! An overwhelming experience in which I was able to experience a country I have always dreamed of traveling to. I still dream about it. I think the best part about my trip was meeting fellow members of the Church and gaining a new perspective on what it's like to be LDS outside of the US. It was wonderful and humbling. I also discovered that all of the clothes I bought in England are way softer than the clothes over here. Seriously, I should have bought more. Soft like butta.

July: Went on a camping trip with my cousins where Kaylin and I made a traditional sausage, egg, and pancake breakfast for the family. Also finished Bleak House by Charles Dickens which has earned residence in my Top Ten books at Number Three. I was also called to be the co-chair of the Ward Activities Committee--a calling which I love because it reminds me of all those times in college when I planned campus activities and thought I ruled the school. I also tried to recuperate from my whirlwind June.

August: Turned 29 and spent it with some of my best girlfriends. It was quiet and understated and as all birthdays go, it was fabulous. Also learned how to make a diaper cake with Kaylin which we gave to our cousin as she adopted her first little baby--an adorable monkey named Gracie. Work also turned up the heat and I was left working serious amounts of overtime as I juggled four construction projects. Somehow August always turns out to be the busiest month of the year for me.

September: Bought a heart rate monitor and took a trip to San Diego for work where I discovered at a work conference that people who are allegedly experts in communications can't communicate worth a crap. Read The Kite Runner and The Time Traveler's Wife and was slightly underwhelmed, I think because I waited so long to read them.

October: Said farewell to my dear roommate Allyson who decided singledom was for the birds. Also threw the pinnacle of all Halloween parties which was subsequently shut down by the cops.

November: Thought a lot about paying to have my car vacuumed and detailed since it had gotten too cold for me to even entertain the thought of going outdoors. Started reading Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell--a book I haven't yet finished but is also looking to rank in my Top Ten list.

December: Traveled home for the holidays and luckily did not total my car. I also learned that I'm terrible at video games even though I made a valiant effort on my parents' Nintendo Wii.

There you have it, folks! Much love out there to all of my friends and family. You truly do make my life better and more fulfilling.

A View From the Top

After driving through some dense fog in the Blue Mountains--the mountain pass just south of the Washington/Oregon border--we made it to the top to see a thick layer of fog below us. Absolutely beautiful.

She's Rejecting This Sweater

Mindy and I have a running joke about when we don't like something we're wearing or we don't feel comfortable in it that our body is rejecting that particular clothing item. For example, for Allyson's wedding we all wore purple except for Mindy since it was Allyson's wedding colors. She had purple in her closet but, as she solemnly told me, "My body was rejecting all of the purple in the closet, so I had to wear black instead."

This is a picture of our dog Licorice in her Christmas sweater. Doesn't that sweater look like something someone would wear to an ugly sweater party? Anyway, we think she looks pretty cute in it but as soon as you put her in it, our rambunctious, irrepressible dog is suddenly rendered immobile. She stands absolutely still and looks at everyone like something is off, almost as if we have betrayed her because she hates that sweater. It's heartbreaking and hilarious all at once.

I know this picture doesn't quite capture the essence, but Licorice is definitely rejecting her Christmas sweater.

This Is How We Crush Peppermint Candies In Our House

Who Couldn't Love This Little Face?

I took out my cousin Tracy's son to see the zoo lights and hit up a little Red Robin.

The highlight of the evening was when Kaylin and Carrie convinced him to say to me, "Melissa, you're weird!"

"No, I'm not!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, you are!"

A verbal match ensued.

I lost.

Boycotting

Kaylin, Alicia, and I made the great trip to Washington for the holidays. Since then, I've done a fat lot of nothing. Emphasize on fat. There's been a lot of lounging, eating, Christmas movies at the parentals house. I'm sure I'm ten pounds heavier.

Funny enough, I discovered that I am perfectly content to go days without checking my email, bank account, facebook account, and even blog. Consider it boycotting the outside world while I am holed up inside my parents' house. Heavenly.

So maybe I'll go shower now. Whatev. I've got time.

You Want To Know Why They Call It Blind Dating?

Wednesday night was my ward's annual Christmas party. I live in an affluent area of SLC so our Christmas parties tend to be a little bit, er, different than the usual ward party fare. We held it at the Marriott, had a nice catered meal (secretly, I think it's because the ward is afraid that if we asked people to go pot-luck style, people would sign up and then not actually follow through), and also held an auction. The proceeds of the auction were donated to a little girl who's in need of a liver transplant. It was nice to give back to a family in need.

We tried to make the party well rounded. There was karaoke and even a live comic. OMG . . . why do we think that live comics are a good idea? They never are. I feel partially responsible. I think it may have been me who suggested that idea.

A girl on the committee said she knew a guy who knew a guy (I know . . . I should have known) and she had seen his act. She referred to him as awkward. I was thinking Michael Scott awkward and I was all for it.

Um, no. If Michael Scott were a real person and somehow showed up at our Christmas party ready to do stand up, it would have been a welcome (and blessed) surprise. Instead we got a guy who sounded . . . dare I say it? . . . special ed. Seriously. I kept thinking he had hit his head or something.

His quote of the night:

Do you want to know why we call it blind dating? Because you get so nervous and then your nipples get hard and it's like reading braille.

Oh, have mercy. He did not just say that.

Silence.

Awkward silence.

I was mortified.

So just in case you've ever wondered why it's called blind dating, there you have it.

On the plus side, we raised about $6000 for Lulu!

Today Is A Hard Day

Today is a hard day. One of my dear cousins is in the hospital suffering from double pnemonia. She's currently on a ventilator in order to give her some much needed rest. I didn't realize until my cousin Tracy told me, but essentially when they put you on a ventilator they have to put you in a medically induced coma. Maybe this just sounds worse than it really is--basically, she's just sleeping--but it's terrifying to have someone you love hover in such a dangerous place.

Sarah's sickness started about two weeks ago when she got the H1N1 virus. This is so crazy to me. When I was in England everyone kept asking us about the swine flu and every time they did I would look at them like they were crazy. I think we even laughed about it like they were just overreacting about a flu, which yes, made people very sick, but still, it was just a flu.

I feel foolish now for this careless attitude.

Today we're fasting for Sarah and praying our hearts out for her recovery. She's a beloved member of our family and we love her so much.

If you can, please remember Sarah and her little family in your prayers.

Where Has My Mind Been All Day?

Eek! I'm a complete idiot. All day today I've been feeling sluggish and not on the ball. Also, I've felt like I've had something to do but couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Not until 1:30 did I realize that I had missed my weekly 1:00 meeting. Read it: weekly. As in, I go to this meeting every week. I can't believe I just did that. Especially because the construction on this specific project is ending for the season and this was going to be my last meeting for a while. It's not a big deal, I just can't believe I completely spaced it.

Ugh.

A Rebuttal

Not from my mom about John Bytheway. . . but from my dad. He read the blog post while I was talking to my parents on the phone. My mom giggled as he read it--she loves this story almost as much as I do. My dad would like to point out:

1. My mom was driving, not him.
2. She had moved the car to a mysterious part of the road so he didn't know where we were when he was racing down the front walk. This makes me think he took his eyes off the front walk looking for our car, thus his untimely demise against the big, looming mailbox.
3. He refused to ever deliver anything again after that momentous occasion. This kills me, my dad rarely says no to doing something.
4. He doesn't really appreciate that it still makes us laugh.

Ah, family . . .

A Little Gem for Ya

Yesterday as I opened my mouth to sing the closing hymn in Relief Society, I let out a burp instead. Here's what's funny about this (other than the fact that I audibly burped in RS): I never burp! I don't know why at that particular moment it just came out and I couldn't stop it. Luckily, it wasn't loud enough for the entire room to hear, only loud enough for the row I was sitting in. But seriously, who does this sort of thing?

Oops! I May Have Walked In On the Gingerbread Man While He Was Changing

As If To Further Illustrate My Point...

That I'm nesting. Today I created a sewing nook. Enough said.

You're Wearing What?

Tonight is my work Christmas party. Sigh. I'm still remembering last year's blessed event.

I was just going to go alone but the people at work are making me bring a friend; thus, Carrie is now my esteemed date for the evening. I bribed her with the prospect of prime rib, sweet potatoes, and salmon.

I was feeling moderately fine about the whole thing until a co-worker came up to me and immediately asked what I was wearing. I hadn't really given it much thought. Since we're living in sub-zero temperatures I figured I would wear anything that would go with tights.

She said the same thing about wanting tights, except she brought up that she has this fancy dress she never gets to wear. It has spaghetti straps and is floor length.

"Oooo, wear it." I said. "Me, I'll just dig up something that I would wear to church."

She gave me a slightly pitying look.

Gratituitous Beefcakes Aplenty

Thank you to the powers of DVR, TV Christmas movies are like a drug. We record all of them. There's something so perfect about ending the day with the fire crackling, the Christmas lights on the garland and tree being the only light in the house, a cinnamon scentsy, and talking about making hot chocolate for everyone. But really, we're all too lazy to make hot chocolate because we're watching TV and that would require us to get off of the couch.

If you haven't caught (and don't worry, it'll be on TV again) the Twelve Men of Christmas on Lifetime, you should check it out.

Here's why it's entertaining:
1. It has Kristen Chenowith of Wicked fame.
2. She plays a New York PR bull dog stuck in Montana . . . movie and TV execs never get tired of this speel even though it's so ridiculous. But Kristen actually pulls off the most saccharine lines as if they were the most natural thing to say.
3. It's a blatant rip off of Pride and Prejudice, meaning you'll know the lines even before the actors say them.
4. There's gratuitous scenes with shirtless beefcakes.*

*You know when women are hired to be on TV or in movies strictly for their hot factor and it's total exploitation of a hot body? Yeah, it's like that. Not complaining, merely pointing it out. Yes, I understand the double standard.

Snow Storm for the Ages

It finally snowed out here. And when I say snowed . . . I mean Mother Nature dumped snow across the entire Greater Salt Lake Valley. The radio was full of reports of accidents and backed-up traffic. I'm so grateful I don't have to take the freeway to get to work.

Kaylin texted me this morning that it took her twenty-five minutes to get to work instead of her usual ten or fifteen minutes. This is funny because all of our other roommates drive at least twenty minutes to work each day when the driving conditions are good. Kaylin and I drive about ten.

I couldn't help picturing the snow piling up and me holed up in my house. Alone on the couch with the fireplace crackling and my favorite shows on TV while I worked from home. Sounds nice, doesn't it? But really, my work is right down the street. I mean, what a crap excuse so as not to go to work. Still . . . .

Something Must Be In the Water

I dont' know what's come over me but I have entered a new phase: the nesting phase. Before you jump to conclusions, no, I am not pregnant. But seriously, I'm wondering if there is something in the water because this is new territory.

I looked up the term nesting:

Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world.

This weekend I attacked my shower with a fully powered bottle of Soft Scrub and was going full steam until the bleach crept into my lungs and gave me a coughing / gagging fit. I made dinner (eggrolls, you better believe it) and afterwards decided I wanted homemade gingerbread as well. Afterwards, I decided that much of my laundry needed ironing--something I never do, those wrinkles will work themselves out on their own, peeps--and pulled the ironing board into my room so as to be closer to my freshly laundered clothes. I swept the house, took out the trash and recycling.

Whew! If only all of my weekends were this productive. Perhaps this isn't really nesting, but at the risk of sounding lazy and incompetent, I'm rarely this motivated to get so much stuff done in a single weekend.

While this newfound, unexpected, and irrational behavior continues, I'd be happy to come to your houses and launch an attack on your bathroom, kitchen, laundry room, etc.

For a small fee, of course. A girl's gotta eat, you know.

Smack

No, this present isn't sticking out of my neck; instead, this is the mid-air flight of the present as it's being hurled in the air right before it smacked me in the face.

The closed eyes are just an added bonus.

My Own Personal Weather Man

My knee has been hurting this week. Most people know I've had two knee surgeries and it seems to me that it always hurts in one way or another. Boo.

But this week in particular my knee has felt especially tender. So much that Kaylin and my roommate Carrie gave me a serious guilt trip for wanting to go to the gym Wednesday night.

"You can barely walk!" Kaylin cried. "At least take a day off from it."

I did, but I felt guilty.

"Why do you think your knee hurts so much right now?" Carrie asked.

I shrugged. "The last time it hurt like this was last month when we had our first big snow storm. It must be the change in weather."

Carrie nodded her head and looked slightly solemn, but there was a slight tinge in her face as the wheels turned in her head.

I sighed. "This totally makes me sound like an eighty-year-old woman, doesn't it?"

She burst out laughing. "It does. It really does."

Kersplat!

My mom has always liked to do the Twelve Days of Christmas during the holidays.

There have been countless holidays where we have found a family in need and delivered gifts and goodies to them as the holiday approached. There are a lot of special memories associated with this--sneaking up to the house, assembling gifts, that one bitter time when we delivered soda (a most coveted thing growing up) knowing that it was for somebody else.

Once I wrote the most ridiculous poem talking about how we were their Christmas elves here to wish them Happy Holidays. I even wrote each alternating paragraph in red or green ink . . . talk about the epitome of festive. My mom was proud of that poem, weirdly enough, and had a lady from our ward who had stopped by our house one night read it. She wasn't as impressed and even pointed out a mispelled word. Scrooge.

The best memory I have of the Twelve Days of Christmas happened when I was super young, maybe five or six. My mom had baked bread and we were delivering this bread to a family with eight kids (sounds like one loaf wasn't enough, don't you think?) on a cold December evening in the great place of Eagle River, Alaska.

Like I said, it was cold. So guess who was persuaded to deliver the bread? My dad.

He snuck up to the house, left the bread on the doorstep, and knocked loudly on the door. The next thing I see is him racing off the front porch, down the front walk, and through the gate towards our car. Everything was fine until WHAM! My dad had run into the mailbox and landed right on his back.

I'm not sure if he slipped on ice or literally ran into the mailbox in the heat of the moment . . . I was five, you see.

Here's what I can tell you with a surety--my dad was immediately on his hands and knees patting the ground trying to find his glasses in the snow. Time progressed--it felt like eons--as my dad patted (there really is no better word) the ground looking for those damn glasses. What kills me is he doesn't even have that bad of vision. Those glasses must have blended into the night.

The family, by this time, had opened the door and come out to the porch. Rather than noticing the loaf of bread wrapped in tin foil, they were granted with a different surprise--some random man on his hands and knees in the snow becoming increasingly irritated as he patted the snow. Curse words, I'm sure, were uttered.

As this was happening, a crazy woman was sitting in the front seat of our car laughing like crazy. Oh, wait, that was my mom. This may be the hardest she's ever laughed.

At the tender age of five, I was kind of alarmed by my mom laughing because I thought my dad was hurt; however, now, the image of my dad on the ground is automatically accompanied by the sound of my mom laughing. And I can't help but smile.

Christmas Is Here

Christmas is here! I am so excited. For you purists out there, Kaylin and I put up our Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving. To be honest, I was a little disappointed that it didn't go up sooner.

Once again, we visited Temple Square to see the lights. For the environmentalists out there, I am sorry if this opinion offends your sensibilities, but I hate that the Church is cutting back on the lights! In my opinion, when it comes to Christmas you either go big or go home. I believe in conservation . . . except when it's Christmas. So this is what I'm saying, I think there should be more lights at Temple Square. I really do.

We've been watching a lot of Christmas movies at our house. Even though the Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies always fall flat at the end, I am loving them. Except for Holiday in Handcuffs. I couldn't suspend reality long enough to believe that a) Mario Lopez would fall in love with the girl who kidnapped him over the holidays; b) that girl ended up being Melissa Joan Hart.