Saturday, March 27, 2010

Freudian . . . Slip?

One night Kaylin sat down next to me in the living room while I was watching TV. The show I was watching had just started and I said to Kaylin, "This theme song makes me think of you. I think you'll like it."

And then the song started to play.

"Bent and broken is the family tree . . . "

An uncomfortable pause permeated the room before Kaylin said, "Excuse me!? Why would this song remind you of me?"

Awkward.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Mama Always Said I'd Be A Star

My company must have run out of Adobe stock photos of smiling, happy employees so they put me on their website instead. If you need a good laugh, check it out here.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday Night

Friday night. I'm watching Medium and staring at the same document I've been staring at for the past two hours. Ugh. Work is frustrating sometimes. So is doing it on a Friday night.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Taking On the Man

So all joking aside, when my boss and I discussed how to infilitrate a small army of male construction workers, I really was listening. This project isn't like anything I've worked on. When I first started working on construction jobs, my boss said to me, "Don't talk to them like you're their friend. They don't like that. Just tell them what you want and then hang up the phone." She said this in response to my mentioning that every time I talk to one of those guys on the phone, they always sound super confused. I find this weird . . . I'm not asking them for directions on how to dismantle an atomic bomb. I'm just asking if there are going to be any traffic impacts that I should tell people about.

I've been working on this advice. It is so hard. I have a hard time just calling someone and barking out an order. I like to ease into why I'm calling. I like exchanging pleasantries. In short, I'm all girl. I prefer to say hi and then say why I'm calling. Isn't that the polite thing to do?

Here's what's funny: it totally works to bark out orders to these guys. They like it. Weird. I'm finding that almost all men are like this--not just construction workers. Just think about that.

Last week, I introduced myself to one of the construction managers. I stuck out my hand to shake his.

"I haven't met you, yet. I'm Melissa."

"Oh, hi, it's nice to meet you."

He just stared at me. Not in a creepy sort of way, but like he's expecting me to say something that will really impress him. Obviously, I did what anybody would do.

I panicked and started to ramble.

"Um, the last project you worked on--that huge one in Salt Lake--I work for the company that did the public information on it. You know my co-worker, right?"

He continued to stare at me. Nothing. No words came out of his mouth.

I started to breathe heavy.

"Well, she says hi."

Actually, no, she didn't say hi. I just had no idea how to wrap up.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I Totally Meant to Do That

Saturday my sister Alicia was in town. So we headed out for some shopping.

By the way, I should not be allowed inside of DSW. I can't say no to anything in that place. And as I write, I'm wearing some fabulous new shoes I probably shouldn't have bought.

While at Target, Kaylin proclaimed she was going to reach into the depths of her generous heart and buy me a clock for my bathroom. Apparently every bathroom needs a clock. Who knew? I never gave it much thought.

We stared at a selection of $5 clocks. Simple . . . and cheap. Good enough for me.

Until Alicia said, "Those clocks are so noisy. You don't want that."

"Why does it matter?" Kaylin countered.

Personally, I didn't care, but Alicia made a big deal about how you can hear the tick of the clock and that it's so annoying. She has one in her apartment.

But I couldn't hear anything. I'll admit, I thought Alicia was being a little overdramatic.

"I can't hear anything." I said. I leaned down and put my ear right up against the clock. "No, really, I can't hear anything."

I was trying to make a point . . . I couldn't imagine it would be THAT big of a deal.

Alicia gave me a funny look. "That's because there aren't any batteries in the clock."

Oh.