Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Hi, My Name Is Melissa and I'm A Hypochondriac

This is no joke. I am a total hypochondriac.

I always think the worst anytime I feel an ache, pain, or anything that might be a titch uncomfortable. I blame this on an ex-boyfriend. During our courtship I watched as his mother suffered from an acute case of skin cancer, his father had back surgery twice, his sister suffered from Multiple Sclerosis, and his other sister had discovered a lump on her breast. Nobody was safe in that family.

I woke up this morning at 2 am feeling some intense pain in my right lower abdomen. Ow. It hurt like a mother. My immediate thought: appendicitis.

Great. My favorite gym class of the week is on Tuesdays and I was going to miss it.

I was fully prepared to drag myself up to Kaylin's bedroom and beg her to take me to the hospital. Instead, I took some ibuprofen and worried. If the ibuprofen mitigated the pain enough for it to subside, would I even know if my appendix was about to burst? I began to picture the worst.

Somehow, I made it through the night. No burst appendix. I was saved.

But it still hurt. Not as bad, just a dull pain.

So I tried to figure it out. What was the cause of the ultimate of ultimate stomach cramps? Yeah, it's probably endometriosis.

To which Kaylin replied, "Oh, my hell, Melissa. It was probably just gas."

5 comments:

Coordination Queen said...

LOL! Kaylin is freaking awesome!

Tracy Smythe said...

I always tell Matt to go fart if his stomach is hurting. Haven't I showed you how I get rid of all that gas when I work night shifts? It works like a charm!

P.S. I can also give you some other handy tips to see if it is really appendicitis...just in case.

Holly said...

Once my dad had some bad pain in his side and he called the on-call nurse at the clinic he went to. She told him to take Gas-ex and suck it up (basically). 12 hours later my mom called me from the hospital because he was in surgery having his appendix removed. I hope you just had gas!

mrs. jar said...

You two are so funny! You totally just made my day with that. But still, I hope it is neither appendicitis nor endometriosis and that it really was just gas!

Charlotta-love said...

Ahahaha! I love this story. It could also have been cramps. I doubt some over the counter pill is going to mask the pain of a major body ailment. Go to your gym class... you won't die. :o)