My Life As A Temptress

Well, I've gone and done it again--I've upset the karma gods. Last night I became the enemy of Belle . . . of Beauty and the Beast. In my defense, I didn't know that Belle had the fierceness of a beast (ahem) when it came to laying her claim on her man.

Apparently, I encroached.

Last night I attended a birthday party for a guy in my ward. In typical ward birthday fanfare there was cake, ice cream (you'll be proud to know that I abstained from that sugary delectableness), and single guys and girls posturing themselves in the best light possible. I'll admit I was one of them. Sue me!

Out of the corner of my eye I see a guy whom I have met a few times but only recently have we come to be on a first name basis. I'll call him A. A looks my way, gives me a smile, and for some reason I walk over. I'm feeling bold. There might have been a swagger in my step.

For the record, he sent out all the signals. I merely reciprocated. The first time we met he told me I had a beautiful smile. Last night, he gave me a big hug, said hello (in that order), and asked how I was doing. Sounds promising, right?

In the middle of our conversation my friend Dan walks up and say, "A, where you been? You dating anyone?" A just kind of shrugs it off in a perfect, noncommital way. Just casual enough for someone as dense as myself not to pick up on any evasive tactics. Instead, I resume our conversation.

Enter Belle.

Belle was in our stake production of Beauty and the Beast. She did a beautiful job. She was cute, sang well, and had this really sweet smile. She was the perfect Belle. From what I understand, after Beauty and the Beast she became our stake's resident It Girl. Every guy wanted to date her. I can't say I blame them . . . she's really cute.

However, there was a gleam in her eye that suggested she was a little offput. Me? Still not picking up on anything. A calmly says "Have you met Dan and Melissa?" She smiles, we say hello. Dan compliments her on her performance of Belle.

But then Belle does something weird. I have no idea how to describe it. She looks at A, her eyes suggesting she'd like a little "alone" time. And then she reaches over and grabs his hand and shakes it. What? Their fingers don't quite interlace, you know the way they do when you're holding the hand of your significant other and you want to be kind of intimate with them without proclaiming it to the world. Instead, her fingers kind of cup his, kind of the way an adult holds a child's hand. She smiles at him knowingly. A still looks like nothing's going on. He doesn't seem interested or uninterested. He's just there. If she hadn't of shaken his hand it wouldn't have looked quite so awkward. Instead it just looked plain weird and I was suddenly very uncomfortable. I would have rather she'd just said, "He's mine. Stay away." Even Dan felt a little weird. We both promptly left.

I walk up to my friend Mindy. "Did you just see what happened? Oh my gosh it was so weird."

Mindy grimaces. "I was going to warn you but I didn't get a chance. Sorry."

Imagine me emitting a slow, deep whistle. That's what I wanted to do in between my bouts of laughter. Because it's official, I pissed off Belle. I had no intentions of doing it! I really didn't! According to Mindy I should feel good that I threatened her enough she had to make her presence known. It does kind of feel good. I am a temptress.