My Submission for the Darwin Awards

I am forever trying to find and maintain balance. And forever failing at it! I guess it's the process of this life. Since starting my new project, I have felt tired all of the time and have had trouble going to the gym like normal. All I want to do is sleep. And thus my life has achieved imbalance.

It must be the mono.

So I thought a nice thing to do would be to start taking a multivitamin...at least it would be a small step in the right direction. And maybe I wouldn't feel so tired all of the time? Right?

I know...it's a pipe dream, but whatev. I didn't think it would hurt.

So yesterday was the big day. I popped my vitamin into my mouth on my way to work. This was followed by breakfast which consists of oatmeal, craisins, brown sugar, and milk (my FAVE breakfast).

However, as soon as I finished eating my breakfast I felt queasy. Like the throw up kind of queasy. It came strong and it came fast, and too late, I was on the freeway. Never did I regret something as much as I did that stupid multivitamin. The inevitable was coming and I was trapped in my car prayng for just 30 seconds more. And another 30 seconds for me to get off at the next exit.

But too late. I was almost there--pulled over on the side of the road with my car door open--when I threw up in an impressive display of projectile gymnastics all over my dashboard.

Needless to say, it was something of a bleak Monday morning as I slowly got out of my car and cleaned it up with a spare blanket in my car. I debated turning around and just going back home, but I'm a responsible adult these days. People need me.

The real issue now is that I'm afraid of multivitamins.