You Know It's A Success When the Cops Shut You Down

I know it's been two weeks since Halloween and that you have probably seen these pictures on Facebook. Sue me. I haven't had a chance to upload my pictures, and actually, I think Kaylin beat me to the punch and already did it. Whatev.

For Halloween, we threw a party--the party to end all parties. In truth, I am not really a fan of parties. Tons of people I don't know and I somehow find myself clustered around the four people I do know. I cannot conjure up a conversation out of thin air, mostly because I just don't care enough to do so. They ask us to network all of the time at work and I just loathe it. I can't be fake with people I don't know and pretend to be interested in them when I'm just not. I don't believe in making friends just so you can say you have friends. Anyway . . . this one turned out to be super fun.

Our house went as the characters of Clue which was surprisingly hard to pull together. There was one long night when Kaylin and I were at the mall trying to find stuff for Mrs. Peacock and I just wanted to yell and Kaylin just wanted to go home. We were literally out the door when we found my peacock shirt. Surprising.

With the sisters. Kaylin went as Professor Plum. Funny thing is, nobody realized she was dressed up. I think she should have told everyone she was a naughty librarian to get their attention. Alicia was Audrey Hepburn (brilliant!).

My pipe was a spray-painted wand. Nobody was impressed. And someone actually said to me, "Um, you know you could have gone to Home Depot and just asked them to cut you a pipe."

Oh.

Another thing that's interesting . . . nobody knew the characters of Clue. When I told people to guess who I was, they would inevitably say Professor Plum? Um, Colonel Mustard? No, you morons. Look at me, I'm dressed up in effing blue.

Here's where the party gets interesting. We invited everyone we knew, we had friends invite everyone they knew . . . turns out we had about 200 people show up in our small house. Talk about beyond crowded. It was going great until the sorority crew showed up in their skin tight leather dominatrix-styled outfits complete with kitty-cat ears and tails (because, duh! They were cats!) that I really felt the party lost its cool flavor. All available guys zeroed in on them. A little disappointing, if you ask me. It was seriously a scene out of Mean Girls. Which again illustrates my point that men are retards. And if you think I'm sounding a little more jaded than normal, you're probably right. I feel a huge wave of cynicism crashing over me.

Everything was going well until Mr. Police Man showed up with a chip on his shoulder and a gun in his holster. No, he was not here to dance. He looked pissed. Apparently one of our lovely neighbors called in regarding noise, lol. Which brings me to my next goal: taking Christmas cookies to my neighbors this year. I don't know if they like us. In our defense, it was Halloween, a Friday night, and only about midnight. And there was no bong in the den, no drunken maniacs running up and down the streets--it was merely dancing and food. Pretty tame if you ask me.

But I got a SEVERE talking to by the cop. He ripped me a new one and then proceeded to do it again. I was not offended that he showed up at our door; I was, however, mad as hell when he talked to me like I was an idiot about noise ordinances and citations and eventually took my information down. I don't appreciate intimidation tactics especially when I would have shut the door and turned down the music. What a tool.

My landlords were also pretty mad, but not at us. They were mad at the cop and wanted to call the mayor because they "know the guy" and report the cop's name and the disrespectful way he treated their tenants. How funny is that? To quote Troy my landlord, "Melissa, please don't let this be the end of your gargantuous parties." I promised him I wouldn't. And then he got a mischeivous look on his face and said he was going to report us to the cops tonight. We got razzed for about a week from them. Needless to say, I love my landlords!

Thank goodness Thanksgiving is so relaxing because I need a break!