Long before the days of tank tops being a mandatory undershirt-wardrobe item, I had bought a shirt that had a somewhat deep V-neck in the front. I was living at home at the time (this being the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college) and it was during that transition when I was starting to buy my own clothes. It felt so weird . . . so adult. I felt a little awkward spending money on myself (wish I felt that way still).
It was Saturday night and darn it if I wasn't going to go out wearing my new purple, V-neck shirt.
Except it was a little lower cut than I realized. I spent the whole night pulling my shirt up trying to cover up the girls. If my face didn't show it, I was feeling more than a little self-conscious.
The next morning (being a Sunday), instead of our usual fare of Disney TV in the family room (for my younger siblings . . . duh), my mom was playing a John Bytheway talk. I sat down, ate my breakfast, and watched it. I mean, I was a more enlightened person at this point in time. I had sat through all of the sessions of General Conference while at college and did not immediately curl up in my blanket and fall asleep. If this isn't definitive proof of my enlightenment, I don't know what is.
And then my mom turned to me with the clear intention of teaching me a lesson.
My eyes widened in surprise and then horror as I realized the lesson being taught.
"That outfit you wore last night was inappropriate. I can't even believe it. How can you be worthy of someone like John Bytheway when you wear shirts like that?"
Um . . . I don't know. I didn't really intend for it to be that revealing.
"Melissa, if you're going to be worthy of someone like John Bytheway, you cannot be wearing clothes like that."
Um . . . John Bytheway? Really?
I find this all extremely ironic since I wonder from time to time if I had pulled out the purple V-neck shirt a little more often if I would have been a little more successful at the dating game. Sadly, it's been donated to the DI where I'm sure another girl is flaunting her goodies much to the dismay of her mother.
**Clearly, this is a funny story, Mom. Perhaps you remember it differently. If so, you should start your own blog with a rebuttal statement.
5 comments:
you make my laugh out loud many times a day. I was so there with you many a times, too many shirts like that did I have... I love that you had to have a disclaimer for your mom, I would have to also :)
you are officially my favorite blog to read!
You're treading along some dangerous waters with this one.
I met him and had the biggest crush on him. I told Jen this story - who told her mother - who told her good friend JOHN freaking BYTHEWAY - who made it a point to talk to me at a concert he gave in Provo. Dream come true. Except that he was married.
That is awesome! Seriously... so funny.
Aahh, the intricacies of the mother/daughter relationship.
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