Bad Picture, Cute Idea

I think it's just that time of the year, when it's dark and cold outside and I'm just tired. So I've been nesting again.

This weekend I tried my hand at homemade bread which required me to leave church twice in order to check on my rolls. Yes, it's a little over the top, and no, I don't think I will be judged too harshly for skipping out on the last half hour of church. It was for the greater good, you see. In my Saturday test batch, I killed the yeast. On Sunday, I was determined to get it right.

Result! They were delicious.

My rolls were followed by chocolate cupcakes with a homemade cream cheese frosting. I love cream cheese frosting. It's my favorite. BUT I'm not sure I can ever eat it again. I think I used 2 sticks of butter and 2 packages of cream cheese. There has to be a better way.

Again...they were delicious.

Yes, I am openly bragging. Deal.

My cupcakes were made with white chocolate stars...all in time for the Oscars last night. The picture above is blurry but hopefully you get the idea. I thought they were pretty cute.

Sexual Harrassment in the Workplace Part 2

Let me clarify here...yes, my work is slightly inappropriate, but it's not like I walk down the halls in fear of catcalls and salacious invitations for drinks after work.

BUT, like I said, it can be slightly inappropriate. Let's be real, I really prefer it that way anyway. It's too much pressure for me to be adhere to too much propriety.

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk when D walked up. He kept tugging on his pants. "I broke my belt this morning and now my pants won't stay up. I really should have gotten bought another belt."

He looked at me as if a lightbulb had just gone off in his head. "Hey! I bet you have a belt I can borrow."

(By the way, D is in his late-30s and over 250 pounds.)

"Mmm...not really. I don't own that many belts. They don't work on girls with hips."

He gestured to a small portion of his waist. "I bet your belt would fit on about a quarter of my waist."

What do you say to that? It was kind of true.

"I mean, how big is your belt anyway? Your booty can't be that big."

And yes, I realize that this statement is far more inappropriate than the arm tickling.

I shrugged my shoulders in response. "It depends who you're comparing it to."

Sexual Harrassment in the Workplace

Picture this: me standing next to my co-worker J discussing a map that has been taped to the wall.

Me: I need a smaller map of just this area, from here to here.

I'm standing on my toes and reaching up to gesture to an area. My arm is outstretched to the top of the paper which is well above my head.

Just then a different co-worker walked past us reaching out and, wait for it...tickled my armpit. While making some kind of Tickle Monster noise. You know, like you would with a baby.

I wish I was joking.

I stopped talking to my co-worker J and looked at the other co-worker in shock ... surprise ... maybe even fear? In the interest of protecting the guilty (not me this time), I will just refer to him as A. For a moment (that seemed to last an eternity) we just stared at each other guiltily. There was immediately so much shame between the two of us. It's like we suddenly had this dark, dirty secret.

J was confused. He heard the, ahem, Tickle Monster noise, but did not actually see the aforementioned weirdness that had just taken place. My face was red, and surprisingly, so was A's. And we were still just looking at each other, although by this point A kept looking away.

J: What just happened? What was that sound A made?

M: Oh, my gosh. A just...he just...tickled my armpit.

I am laughing so hard that I am hunched over and practically gasping for air. Did he really reach out and tickle my armpit?

J: Really? I thought he grabbed your butt.

M: No (still gasping), I think I would have rather he'd just grabbed my butt. It would have made things a lot less weird.

A (his face still red): Yeah, I don't know what just happened. I had a much different picture in my mind.

M: Did you really? I can't imagine what was in your head.

A: Yeah, um...

A just trails off while J and I laugh hysterically in the hallway. He looked so embarrassed that I almost felt bad. Almost. Not enough to stop laughing.

I will admit though that A and I had a hard time looking each other in the eye the rest of the day. Think nervous laughs and awkward eye contact. That was us.

Turns out today is A's birthday. Both J and I called out to A, "What do you want more, tickles or spankings?"

Oh, Hello, Blog. I Used to Know You Well

Oh, geez...has it really be two months since I have even checked my blog? I feel good old-fashioned Catholic guilt at this. I have to be honest...my life is predictable. I work and I go to the gym. It is not all that interesting. It seems in one swift moment my life has transformed itself into a flurry of meetings and checking my BlackBerry. Yes, I have officially gone to the dark side. Don't judge, people.

On the bright side there has been SOME playing. Above is a picture of me and two of my favorite people: Becca and Kaylin. This is the night we went tubing at Soldier Hollow in Midway. It was a great night and I laughed my head off. Those are the moments I live for. I'm pretty lucky because I get to laugh a lot these days...in between discussions of potholes, bridge moves, and working for the Man.