Little Red Riding Hood, My Life On A Bike

I've been wanting a road bike for a while now. Spinning classes are great but I've kind of grown weary of them, to be honest. In truth, I'm a terribly judgmental student. If I don't like an instructor I'm severely critical. Yes, you can call me arrogant. But there are a lot of crappy gym instructors out there who think because they're skinny they'd make a great fitness instructor. No...that's not really true.

Okay, I'll get off my soap box, until I find something new to harp about.

So Kaylin, Mindy, and I bought bikes. It's actually been super fun and SUPER intimidating. I thought I'd hop on my bike and have no problem. That was before I became acquainted with the dreaded clips that clip your shoes into your pedals. I promptly discovered that I was not that great at clipping out.

And so...I've fallen multiple times off of it.

However, Kaylin, Mindy and I signed up for our first road race--the Little Red Riding Hood. Okay, it was more of a ride than a race. As I learned, there's a difference.

Check out my bike...how sexy is that? I know you can't really see it, but I think she's pretty.

That rack was only big enough for two. Kaylin squoze into the back with her bike.

Pre-ride. If only I knew then what I know now. It's funny how when I embark on something new I typically make a million mistakes before I "get it." What's even funnier is this principal applies to just about everything in my life...which should tell you that I'm hopeless.

The line to the bathroom. Seems kind of long, but I snapped this shot just before the next rush of females came rushing in.

Here is where the excitement begins. It was my first ride and I felt a little overwhelmed and rushed. I had this overwhelming need to prove myself as a legitimate rider. What's ironic is that the Little Red Riding Hood ride was merely a ride...nothing else. There were girls on beach cruisers, mountain bikes, road bikes...and they were all just cruising. They were just riding. They didn't care.

And yet, I felt like I had to kill it. I was actually doing fairly well until I hit a railroad track on an underinflated tire. (I know this now after much soul searching and asking the nice people at REI.) As a result, my tube popped just as Kaylin flew by and when I realized my tire was flat, Kaylin was long gone. And I was all alone on a long, deserted road approximately 15 miles from my destination.

Dude...sometimes my life just sucks.

I walked for about 2 miles as girls zipped by. I was so pissed that my tire busted on me. Until a nice lady stopped and showed me how to change my tire. She even rode with me a little bit of the way.

By the way, I was still pretty pissed.

When I finally made it to "home plate," Kaylin looked like she was going to pass out from relief. I actually felt really bad seeing the look on her face. She had no idea where I was and had heard a rumor that a girl had dislocated her shoulder along the ride. She had visions in her head of it being me.

But we all finished. No, it was not a stellar performance but it's all about the experience. And you have to admit that it's a pretty funny story. I can say that now--a month after it happened.

See! I even had a smile on my face! Mostly it was just relief that it was over because I was over it.

On to the next adventure. I'd like to try a century someday--100 miles. I'll really need to train for that.

Mmmm...

I got a parting gift on Friday after eating out for lunch--food poisoning. Needless to say, I am not my best self and can only tolerate toast and ice cream. But...I did make these blueberry muffins this morning, and they were delicious.

Hey, You Guys! My Trip to Oregon...

Last year I went on a trip to England . . . this year, to Oregon. Doesn't really seem fair, right? Actually, no, it was amazing and a lot of fun. My grandparents have a ranch in Oregon and I spent many summers at the ranch. This year, Kaylin and I decided to venture out. We went with our cousins Sarah and Tracy to Seaside, Cannon Beach, and Astoria before heading down to the ranch. I tell you what, a vacation was exactly what I needed. I actually woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I don't think that has ever happened.

Anyway, if you've seen The Goonies, maybe you'll recognize these rocks. They play a predominate role in the movie. I gotta say, I love that movie. We watched it again at my grandparents' and I couldn't stop laughing.

This is Haystack Rock. We visited it at low tide which gave us so much more to look at--we ventured out onto the rocks and checked out the sea life. I was surprised at how much we saw--starfish, sea anemones, and crabs.

Sorry to gross you out, but these starfish are spawning right now...they eek their "goodies" out into the water which are then received for reproduction. I don't know how to put this any more delicately. But check how many starfish are clinging to the rocks! Usually when I think of starfish I think of them being dried out.

We made a stop at a candy shop to pick up salt water taffy. So good.

Does this look unladylike to you?

This is inside the Astoria Column...basically it's just a tall tower that overlooks the city. It had a pretty spectacular view. A lot of stairs to climb up but nothing compared to Bunker Tower in Boston!

What? This isn't Talk Like A Pirate Day?

Inside one of the biggest busts of all time--the Tillamook Cheese Factory. Was it wrong of me to expect more from it? Clearly I have a problem with too high of expectations. This picture is basically it of the cheese factory--this is all I saw. Even the cheese didn't taste that good.

No, really, they just offered me cheddar and pepper jack. I can get that at the store.

Okay, the ice cream was good...although not as good as Umpqua ice cream. If you've been to Oregon, you'll know that stuff is off the hook.

We finally got to the ranch after an amazingly long drive in pouring rain. Bleh. This picture is of one of my favorite spots on the ranch...this little covered bridge over a creek. It's not even on my grandpa's property but I love to look at it every time.

We traveled to so many beaches on this trip. What is it about the water that is so calming and soothing? I tried (in vain) to get some action shots of me in the water so I could update my facebook picture with something cute. I failed miserably. I think I'm too old to be cute. However, this picture of Hillary is ridiculously cute.

We found some cool rocks that we tried to walk across until we came across not one, but two couples who were aggressively making out. Talk about awkward.

We were really lucky when we got to Winchester Bay (one of the many beaches we traveled to). Usually when we go to the coast it's grey and overcast. This time the clouds practically opened up and the sun came streaming down. It was sunny and warm...and just perfect.

We also traveled out to Heceta Head...another beach. This was another one of those gloriously beautiful days. I couldn't believe how lucky we were to have two days of such good weather.

I just wanted to swim but nobody swims in the Oregon Coast. Ice cold, baby. But it was so nice I was thisclose to just jumping in.

And on to my favorite part of the trip--Cape Perpetua. One of the highest points you can get to to overlook the beach. I couldn't believe this view.

Seriously...take a look. Can you believe this view?

Kaylin and I took a pit stop in Portland before we had to return our rental car. I'm sorry...it was kind of weird. According to two of my co-workers, we went to the wrong part of town, like the part where they give crack away like candy. This man on a bike rode up to Kaylin and me as we were walking around and asked us if the blue grass festival was still going on.

I was confused. "Sorry, I don't know," I said. And then I started walking away. Maybe that was rude? I don't know.

He looked us up and down, not in a skeevy way but like he was offput by our answer.

"You don't know?" He sized us up and down. "You from around here?"

We shook our heads. "No, we're from Salt Lake City."

And then he looked at us again before saying, "Uh huh."

Pause.

"I thought there was something different about you."

Oh, snap!

I blame the bright colors and flip flops we were wearing. If we had been wearing black and had tattoo sleeves covering our arms then we would have been right at home.

And so we come to the end of our whirlwind trip. It was a great time, although my mom and Alicia were sorely missed. It's just not the same when you guys aren't there.

Sometimes My Family Is Funny

My dad had some health problems last week which prompted my dad's doctor to ask my dad if he had a will. My mom did not like that question at all understandably.

"Well," I asked, "Do you?"

"No!"

"Mom, you should probably make one."

"What are you talking about?" My mom sniffed. "If he dies, I inherit everything."

Oh, snap! Problem solved.

Check It! They Made A Website Just for Me!

Check out the smartest new website ever. I sent this link to Mindy who suggested that one of them might want to play musical books with me. Long story about the musical books...but funny, Mindy! And I mean that sarcastically.

Happy Mother's Day!

My mom is a crazy lady . . . and I love it. Happy Mother's Day, here are some of the things that I've learned from you:

1. That Christmas isn't just a holiday, it's a religion.
2. A sleepover isn't complete without toilet papering somebody's house.
3. How to snap a dish towel at someone's behind (my mom always chooses my dad, much to his chagrin).
4. Tom Selleck is sexy.
5. How to make legendary lasagna.

Love you!

Conversations with Mom and Dad

Warning: Egregious swearing below!

Last night, while talking to my parents, my mom and dad told me their new LDS chapel has been completed and next week will be the first time in that building. It's kind of exciting. Our old chapel is old and more like a maze than anything else.

"How does it feel to know you had your last Sunday at the Toppenish building?" I asked. "Pretty damn good?"

My mom responded distractedly, "Sure."

My dad, however, always the scion of upright exactness, said, "Um, I would say that it's good, but just that."

To which my mom interjected, "Melissa, you swear too much! You hang out with too many boys!" She was referring to all those naughty, dirty construction workers.

Kaylin had to put in, "Yeah, right, Melissa is on the brink of spinsterhood!"

Lovely.