My Life As A Temptress

Well, I've gone and done it again--I've upset the karma gods. Last night I became the enemy of Belle . . . of Beauty and the Beast. In my defense, I didn't know that Belle had the fierceness of a beast (ahem) when it came to laying her claim on her man.

Apparently, I encroached.

Last night I attended a birthday party for a guy in my ward. In typical ward birthday fanfare there was cake, ice cream (you'll be proud to know that I abstained from that sugary delectableness), and single guys and girls posturing themselves in the best light possible. I'll admit I was one of them. Sue me!

Out of the corner of my eye I see a guy whom I have met a few times but only recently have we come to be on a first name basis. I'll call him A. A looks my way, gives me a smile, and for some reason I walk over. I'm feeling bold. There might have been a swagger in my step.

For the record, he sent out all the signals. I merely reciprocated. The first time we met he told me I had a beautiful smile. Last night, he gave me a big hug, said hello (in that order), and asked how I was doing. Sounds promising, right?

In the middle of our conversation my friend Dan walks up and say, "A, where you been? You dating anyone?" A just kind of shrugs it off in a perfect, noncommital way. Just casual enough for someone as dense as myself not to pick up on any evasive tactics. Instead, I resume our conversation.

Enter Belle.

Belle was in our stake production of Beauty and the Beast. She did a beautiful job. She was cute, sang well, and had this really sweet smile. She was the perfect Belle. From what I understand, after Beauty and the Beast she became our stake's resident It Girl. Every guy wanted to date her. I can't say I blame them . . . she's really cute.

However, there was a gleam in her eye that suggested she was a little offput. Me? Still not picking up on anything. A calmly says "Have you met Dan and Melissa?" She smiles, we say hello. Dan compliments her on her performance of Belle.

But then Belle does something weird. I have no idea how to describe it. She looks at A, her eyes suggesting she'd like a little "alone" time. And then she reaches over and grabs his hand and shakes it. What? Their fingers don't quite interlace, you know the way they do when you're holding the hand of your significant other and you want to be kind of intimate with them without proclaiming it to the world. Instead, her fingers kind of cup his, kind of the way an adult holds a child's hand. She smiles at him knowingly. A still looks like nothing's going on. He doesn't seem interested or uninterested. He's just there. If she hadn't of shaken his hand it wouldn't have looked quite so awkward. Instead it just looked plain weird and I was suddenly very uncomfortable. I would have rather she'd just said, "He's mine. Stay away." Even Dan felt a little weird. We both promptly left.

I walk up to my friend Mindy. "Did you just see what happened? Oh my gosh it was so weird."

Mindy grimaces. "I was going to warn you but I didn't get a chance. Sorry."

Imagine me emitting a slow, deep whistle. That's what I wanted to do in between my bouts of laughter. Because it's official, I pissed off Belle. I had no intentions of doing it! I really didn't! According to Mindy I should feel good that I threatened her enough she had to make her presence known. It does kind of feel good. I am a temptress.

The Funnyness

Pay special attention to this picture. Does anything look wrong to you? If you're observant you'll notice a few things. Unwittingly, I posted this picture on my Facebook account only to have a guy in my ward point out my hand is outstretched in an inappropriate manner. Yes, my dear friend Rachel is happily sitting next to my friends Ester and Mindy on the first sunny day of the year and I try to cop a feel. What is my hand doing anyway? I have no idea.

The best part about this picture is I had to call Rachel to tell her about Lane's comment. However, the only thing she remembers is that she's wearing grey sweats over her black nylons. Leave it to a man to skip over the sweats, black nylons, and Howdy t-shirt and go straight to the inappropriate touching. Rachel wants everyone to know that it was Sunday, she wanted to take her skirt off but she was planning on putting it back on later so why remove the nylons? We women know what a pain it is to hike them up!

Thank Goodness for Good People

Picture this: a rainy, soggy morning. Yesterday I wore capris and sandals, today I'm wearing a jacket. How fickle Utah weather can be! Rain sloshes onto my car and I absent-mindedly turn on the heat--my toes are getting cold because I still insist on wearing open-toed heels, even in all of this rain. I accelerate down the road, except wait . . . I'm not accelerating. I'm barely going 35 mph. I pull over to the side of the road.

Yep. A flat tire.

Slowly, I make my way back home. I pull into the covered parking and for a moment start to panic. I never learned how to change a tire. I forged my dad's signature during Driver's Ed that said I learned how to do that! So not only am I a liar, I'm a liar with bad karma. It's 9 a.m. in the morning and most people have left for the day . . . I search the parking lot for any cars I recognize. Is there anyone home today?

Thankfully, my friend Mary is just walking to her car. I embarrassedly explain that I have a flat tire (because I don't like asking for help) and she immediately jumps in. Mary totally cracks me up, she completely takes charge. She grabs the jack and goes to town. I try to help but she's in control. "No, I've got it. You're slacks and heels by the way."

We're having some trouble with the jack and luckily a man is walking by. He offers to help but as soon as he gets dirty he splits. So much for chivalry.

Thankfully, my neighbor steps outside. He quickly gets the tire off and the doughnut (sp?) on . . . regardless of his dirty hands. I'm able to get my car to Les Schwab where they quickly fix the tire.

To continue with the lucky streak . . . thank goodness for good people!

Personal Balance

Today I found something kind of fun on my Gmail account--old correspondence with a friend of mine at Enterprise. We used to write back and forth all the time, and since we hated our jobs there was much to commiserate about.

The emails were kind of fun to read back on since we were crazy about Gilmore Girls and Sex and the City and would dissect every episode. Also, we had some pretty intense conversations about the Great Wall of Chocolate which you can only get at P.F. Chang's (I'm not so much a fan of it, but she really likes it). There was also some discussion about American Idol but I could never really get into it because it was on at the same time as Gilmore Girls and certain things take priority. One thing that was interesting to note was how much complaining I did . . . it was a lot. And looking back on it, I don't even know why she was my friend. She's such a good sport.

I think most of my complaining was a result of a lack of balance in my life. While at Enterprise, I worked 50+ hours a week, was the first to not take a lunch if things were busy, and had many evenings when it was 7 or 8 at night and I was still working. It was rough! Work was such a focal point of my life that so many things were set aside. It's no wonder I was so cranky, I was consumed by my work.

Two years later, I have left the shackles of Enterprise and what a couple of years it's been! I got a personal trainer and worked on my physical fitness and health; subsequently, I got a second job at 24 Hour Fitness just so I could afford my trainer; I went through the temple; I started getting more involved in my ward . . . all in all, it's been a very rewarding experience. Mostly, it's taught me how important balance in one's life is. Even with two jobs now my life is no where to the level of craziness that it once was. I'm able to focus more intently on the various aspects of my life and because of this I feel much more well rounded as a person. I read more, I'm up on current events, I'm more involved in my family and friends' lives. It's good. I'm happy.

Although I still complain and am not always the cheery burst of sunshine that I know many people see me as, I'm really grateful for the chance to be given the opportunities to work on my whole self, not just random parts or one dominant part. I think one's personal happiness is not derived by exploiting one specific area in life; instead, I think it's about expanding all areas of life. I think the Gospel really exemplifies this--no matter how hard we try we can never be fully perfect. There will always be areas where we can improve. It's kind of a daunting thought, but at the same time it's kind of exciting as well. We haven't been given a one-dimensional religion, we've been given the world at our fingertips. There is so much to do before we're finally ready. We're really lucky if you ask me. I'm really lucky!

When in Washington

When in Washington, one must first go home . . .

and watch while your sister mows the lawn . . .

and watch your other sister in the school play "Annie" . . .
(you can tell by the costume, can't you?)

and make friends along the way.

Sugar Free--Week 1

Hey folks, here's a progress report on my quest for sugar-free bliss--it actually isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I do have to be pretty conscientious of what I eat, but I'm finding it to be relatively easy to say no, mostly because I decided in advance that I just didn't want it. However, I've discovered the culprit in my war against sugar. I was feeling pretty good the first day, no unnecessary cravings, but then I noticed that every time I turned around at my desk I came face to face with my nemesis: the candy jar.

It happens to be at my co-worker's desk, and every time I saw it it planted a little plug in my head, "ME WANT CHOCOLATE." It has all of my favorite stuff--seriously, look at it! I thought it was interesting--I never buy that stuff so I don't normally think about it. But when it's in front of me, I have a hard time saying no. Anybody else like this?

Anyway, this is not to say that the rest of the month will be easy to resist, but I feel encouraged in a way. I'm realizing that my real weakness with chocolate (and other undesirable foods) stems more from seeing it and immediately wanting it. I don't think, I just react. The thought that I react and let my body control my mind actually bugs me, I don't like the idea of being controlled. Hopefully, this serves to actually teach me more about control and discipline in the future.

Can She Do It?

For the month of May, I will be attempting something so paramount that I'm not sure if it can even be done--no sugar for one month. I hear the gasps of horror from you, it's a scary thought. No brownies or ice cream! Oh the shame!

Even when I started with my trainer and developed new eating habits, I still indulged; however, lately I've been feeling like I'm letting my love of sweets take a higher precedence in my eating habits than it should. So I'm conducting an experiment--no sweets for the month of May . . . or else.

Mostly, I want to see if I can actually do this. I really do love sweet foods, but I want to see if I can regain control of my sweet tooth. Also, I'd like to see how it will affect weight loss. Frankly, if it doesn't do anything than I'm off the hook! I can eat all of the sugar I want and not feel guilty. If it helps me lose those pesky 5 pounds that I'll be trying to drop during the month of May then I can't complain. The way I see it, it's a win-win situation.

Anyway, tell me what you think. Do you think I can do it?